So the news on the job front is still nada. I have been looking and looking and looking, etc. There aren't many to choose from and the ones that have been offered make my unemployment pay look lucrative. To my utter astonishment, I LOVED being home this summer with the boys and still enjoy being home with Quinn...much more that I even thought I would. BUT enjoyment does not pay the bills. I was pretty excited about a job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago and found out last Monday that I didn't get it. Was pretty bummed (still am) and really struggled with the whole "why?" thing. This brings on the questions...
While it is easy to say "it wasn't meant to be," the people saying that aren't the ones that will have to figure out how to pay the bills. This said...I do realize that God has a plan and unfortunately it isn't always the same as mine. I am sure that His plan is better (okay, I know it will be better) but for those of us with control issues this is a hard thing to surrender. With this surrender comes the realization that when I initially found out I was going to lose my job, I figured we had until the end of June before our savings ran out. June has come and gone and we are still okay.
So. Knowing this, saying it out loud, reading it...why do I still have problems trusting his plan fearlessly and without question?
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